{"id":4734,"date":"2024-06-06T22:18:28","date_gmt":"2024-06-07T06:18:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ficfellowship.org\/why-the-church-is-losing-its-young-people\/"},"modified":"2024-06-11T22:03:03","modified_gmt":"2024-06-12T06:03:03","slug":"why-the-church-is-losing-its-young-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ficfellowship.org\/en\/why-the-church-is-losing-its-young-people\/","title":{"rendered":"Why the Church is Losing its Young People"},"content":{"rendered":"
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By Christy Chia
\n2024.6.15.<\/p>\n

Now that my title has gotten you here, let me start by saying that I have no comprehensive list or one-size-fits-all solution to why young people are leaving the Church. If that is what you\u2019re interested in, there are many resources and researchers who have diligently investigated this, like the Fuller Youth Institute.\u00a0My goal for this article is to share my own experience as a pastor\u2019s kid who left the church but who has returned, now as a pastor.<\/p>\n

To be honest, I have a complicated relationship with church. On any given Sunday I\u2019d be happy to take a break from church. I\u2019ve experienced so much hurt caused by the Church and some Christians. To me, church was typically not a safe place. Sometimes it\u2019s where I feel God the least. Still, I love God and I\u2019ve dedicated my life to following God\u2019s calling (whether inside or outside of\u00a0church).<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s rewind a little. I am a 5th generation pastor. When I was young, I loved the church my mom pastored and my family served in. From an early age, I told myself \u201cI will never<\/i> be a pastor\u201d not because I hated church or my faith, but because I was scared of public speaking. Throughout my youth and college years, I served in various ministries within my churches, but I still didn\u2019t want to be a pastor, especially<\/i> a children\u2019s or youth pastor. In my junior year of college, I decided to dedicate my career to God\u2019s choosing. Ironically, now I\u2019m a youth pastor.<\/p>\n

But the truth is, I wouldn\u2019t be where I am today if I hadn\u2019t left<\/i> the Church.<\/p>\n

After college, I went through a season of church trauma. Eventually, I felt I had no choice but to leave church. I was churchless for the following 3 years. In the beginning, I tried my best to find a new church. I visited over ten churches \u2013 sometimes two in one day. Over and over again, I felt unsafe, unknown, and unloved. My church trauma remained unhealed. If anything, it only got worse. In early 2020, I chose to stop going to church and doubted that I would ever go back again. Church had been a hindrance to my relationship with God. The best choice for me was to stop going to church altogether.<\/p>\n

Young people leave church for all sorts of reasons. Some leave because they need the time and space to figure out life. Some leave because the church was never welcoming, relevant, or their choice. Some, like me, leave because church can be a traumatic and unloving place. No one should be shamed for leaving church and none of them should be seen as \u201cnot Christian\u201d just because they don\u2019t go to church.<\/p>\n

Even when I stopped going to church, even when I doubted I would return, and even when I left church, I did not leave God. I know God did not leave me either. My faith was still there and my relationship with God was still growing.\u00a0Despite my bad experiences, I do believe that church can be a loving and God-filled place for people of all ages to learn about God, grow in faith, and journey with others in community. Here are some of my thoughts to caring for the young people around you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t encourage an over-spiritual or over-intellectual theology.
\nDo encourage a faith relevant to life, community, and justice.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t micromanage our lives, underestimate our spirituality, or take us for granted.
\nDo empower young people in faith, ministry, and leadership by collaborating with and including us in decision-making.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t make us in your image.
\nDo help us become who God has uniquely made us to be (even if that is different from you).<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be hypocritical, judgmental, and unloving.
\nDo grow alongside us in loving others with the love of God.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t abandon or shame us when we have questions and doubts about faith, the Bible, theology, and church.
\nDo understand that this is a normal process of diving deeper into faith. Love us no matter what.<\/p>\n

Young people are going through so many transitions, growths and struggles in life. Love them for who they are. Give them space when they need it, but make sure they know that you will always be there to support them. Prioritize supporting young people in how<\/i> to wrestle with issues of faith, not only what<\/i> to believe. Give them opportunities to contribute to the community. Learn from young people and journey alongside them with humility, recognizing that none of us (even the older generation) are perfect. And when conflict arises, prioritize a long-term relationship with young people rather than your need to be right or to have answers. Be a church where young people can flourish in the love of God and community.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

Christy Chia is passionate about creating safe spaces so that connection, healing, and empowerment can happen, especially for women, people of color, and those who have been hurt by the Church.<\/p>\n

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